Self-Medicating

Nov. 10, 2017 2:30 p.m.

As I sat with some friends yesterday in one of my favorite local watering holes we shared thoughts on a few important matters. You know, normal stuff like stereotypes, gender roles, different types of assault, equality, sexuality, and even drug abuse. That’s right! A drug abuse discussion inside a bar. Ironic I know! 

Now I’m not saying we’re all victims of alcohol abuse. However, we certainly are not speaking about the concerns it places many of us. This conversation is one which is immensely in need of being had in todays society. It’s almost been a century since prohibition began and frankly I’m starting to wonder if maybe those activists weren't on to something after all.

(Image Credit: Collective-evolution)

Day in and day out we hear about people who ran into alcohol related trouble. Suzie Q blamed Joe Blow for taking advantage of her after they went out and got “smashed” one night. Cole got busted over the face with a beer bottle inside so and so's bar. Betty crashed her car into 3 parked cars after joining her friends in the ever so popular bar crawl. Thankfully she didn’t kill anyone-- this time. Why aren’t we stating the real problem in these situations?

Us. We are the problem. We are chugging poison daily and stating that we are “socializing” or getting out of the house. I totally get it. As a bartender of over a decade I completely understand the want to go out, catch up with friends and enjoy a delicious adult beverage. What I don’t get is that we are completely enabling our peers who do have a problem with this and nobody is speaking out on the issue. 

(Image Credit: Uprightrealestate)

If you have a friend that is constantly contemplating suicide, popping pills, overtly searching for their next sexual encounter, or endlessly depressed, perhaps you are helping enable someone. Does this make you a bad friend? No! That is not at all the point, but take notice, speak up, extend a helping hand. Teach your friends that self care is far more important than numbing the pain each night, waking up with the same hangover each morning and repeatedly self harming in order to escape the hurtful past memories that continue to linger.

For me, I know this routine far too well. In 2012 I moved away from everything I knew. The town I grew up in, the place I worked for many years, the amazing friend group I confided in, my long term relationship, my family; anything familiar I separated myself from. At that moment moving was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life. Little did I know that was just the first beginning of finding the real me. The once fearless young girl who could conquer anything and who would one day be a no nonsense powerhouse to reckon with slowly withered away little by little and what I found was not what I had imagined at all, but much more. I simply found my truth, my voice.

To be quite honest, college was a complete blur for me. I have no idea how I functioned waking up every morning after endlessly drinking myself to sleep each night. I always managed to make it to class although my mental state was never fully aware. I would jot notes and half ass pay attention then jet off to the closest bar for lunch and a bloody in-between my class breaks. It didn’t ever seem unstable to me. It was like groundhogs day, day in and day out; just school, booze, work, booze, sleep, repeat. Nobody ever mentioned me having a real problem though I can’t blame them. I would be scared as hell to tell myself that back then. The self medication I relied on was not just harming myself, it was hurting others as well. As I grew more and more dependent of alcohol I found myself less and less aware of the real problems I had repressed.

(Image credit: Stepaway.co.za/Alcoholism-Addiction-Treatment)

Codependency between our society and alcohol is so extreme that even we don’t often notice our own issues anymore. We don’t know that Suzie Q was viciously raped by a group of boys on the football team in high school; therefore, she seeks out men subconsciously every night at the bar only to awake each day feeling the same shame, regret and past torment she did the day before. We don’t realize that Cole is secretly gay and has been belittling others to deal with the pain that never subsided after growing up with his macho father bullying him his entire life. Betty never even noticed she was reckless because all she wanted was to fit in and be like all the other girls even though she often felt like she was not a girl at all.

You see, the point is that everyone has underlying issues. Some big, some small but no matter what we will never grow as individuals if we continue on the same vicious cycle of self medicating; numbing the pain. Alcohol is never going to inform you of your problems. It may momentarily ease you of your pain but for how long? How long will we continuously allow society to drown the problems in which we should face? Talk about it! Help be apart of the solution. Only we can save us.